They Are Our Why, Not Our Excuse

Welcome back to Feature Friday!


This week, my dear friend, Sofia Garcia, is sharing some REAL and RAW advice for all the mamas out there about how we often say our children are our why but in the same breathe, we can use them as an excuse for not accomplishing our goals! I am SO GUILTY of this. I feel like Sofia wrote this directly to me! I truly believe her guest post is going to resonate so deeply with this community and the tips she shares to stop using our children as excuses and to stay on top of our goals are phenomenal!

Sofia Garcia and fiance

Before diving into all the good nuggets from Sofia’s post, I wanted to briefly share about Sofia and plug her Instagram account so y’all can continue to connect with her after reading! I met Sofia in college; she and my sisters were in the same sorority. Now, Sofia is a mama to a sweet boy and full-time student working towards her Master’s degree in Social Work. Did I mention that she is also engaged and has a business affiliated with Arbonne?

Sofia is literally Superwoman!

If you want to connect with Sofia after reading her post, I plugged her Instagram handle below for you to follow her. She shares a lot about her Arbonne business and just the beautiful life she and her family enjoy!

Instagram |  The Sofia Garcia

I am so excited to share with y’all what Sofia wrote, and I hope this post empowers and encourages you as much as it did for me. Let’s get started.

They Are Our Why, Not Our Excuse

Sofia Garcia and family

You ever find yourself saying I am grinding for my children, so that they can have a
life that I never got to have?

I think most mothers can agree that our children are one of our driving forces to be
better ourselves whether as an employee, student, business owner, or just a human
being. It’s most parents’ dream to be able to give their children what they need
and more. BUT often we use our children as an excuse too.

You know what I am talking about. It sounds something like this:

I couldn’t get on that Zoom call for my business because my son was crying. I completely let myself go, because I had a child and just do not have the time anymore. I no longer make time for things that are important to me, because my child needs all of my attention.

As mothers, we want to be the very best. The fear of failing our kids is scary.

BUT if our kids are our why and purpose to why we want to accomplish things that
are much bigger than ourselves, then why are we using them as the excuse too?

The hardest thing a mother can do is work on herself. Working on yourself is SO hard,
because it takes making choices you do not want to make. It means making sacrifices
now to have a better future; it means overcoming fear. The scariest part of
working on yourself is letting go of the expectation you created of the mother you
think you’re suppose to be, in order to balance the different hats you wear.

If there is anything that my business in Arbonne has taught me is that I cannot say my son, Lucas, is my why and then blame him for the reasons why I am not being productive in my business.

Family by the ocean

Here’s my pep talk to my fellow working mothers, stay-at-home mothers, business
owner mothers, ALL mothers:

The best thing you can do for your child is set an example. When you hard work, set
boundaries, and take care of yourself so you can be better for your children! WOW!
That is the biggest example we can set for our children. They are watching.

You do not have to neglect your child to be successful in your career or at your personal goals. Before you were a mother, you were just a person with big goals and aspirations. Some of those may not be realistic anymore, but do not lower your goals and dreams because you are a mother. It’s not fair to you, but it’s also not fair to your child(ren). We are in a modern era where mothers can be boss moms and be amazing mothers. It is okay to pursue both.

Is it easy?

Of course not, but we are not alone; many mothers feel like this. It is okay to ask for help so you can put a little more time into your business or skill set. It is okay to invest in yourself, so you and your child can live the life that you heart desires. Those things your heart truly desires, the fire that is in your heart to do certain things, that is God. God put those things on your heart. If God did not think you could handle becoming the best version of yourself and being a mother, he would have not made you a mother. Let your child be your fire, do not let it be your excuse of why you could not.

You can accomplish anything AND you will.

Now here are some of habits that I practice that help me stay focused and motivated.

  1. Write down your why and goals. Be specific. Keep sticky notes around your office or places around your home you visit often so you stay motivated. Studies show if you write down your goals, you’re more likely to accomplish them.
  2. Plan ahead and be present. Time management is super important, but as a mothe,r it’s literally what will make all the difference. Set time to work on your goals and set time aside to spend quality time. When you’re spending time with your family, be mindful.
    That means no phone, no business, no distractions.
  3. Ask for help. It takes a village to raise a child. Ask your family, partner, or someone you trust to help with the kids. Even if it’s just an hour. So much can be accomplished in one hour.
  4. Use optimal timing. Don’t get me wrong when the kids are napping or away, it is nice to just relax and watch hat TV show you never get to watch from time to time, BUT this is optimal time to be productive. So yes, maybe that means waking up before the kids, or staying up a little late.
  5. Pray and do a little each day. God loves those who work hard. Working towards a goal each day + prayer = BLESSINGS.
  6. Have grace on yourself. You are doing your best. Everyday is not going to be perfect. Don’t dwell on what you did not do, focus on what you want to happen.

Thanks for reading!

Wow!! I am telling you.. She wrote this post directly to me!

Jennifer Lopez Smile GIF by American Idol - Find & Share on GIPHY

I have used my obligations as mother as an excuse when I do not accomplish my goals. My husband has told me many times to not limit myself in my goals, because I have a child. Some of my goals have shifted when I became a mother, but I still have the ability to DREAM BIG and CHASE after what I WANT. As Sofia said, I think it’s so important to recognize we are teaching our children a very valuable lesson when we accomplish our educational, entrepreneurial, fitness, or whatever type of goal, because we are instilling in them the desire to achieve as well.

I also love that Sofia left us with that although we do need to prioritize achieving the goals we set, we still need to give ourselves rest and a whole lot of grace in between. I am so thankful for her message, because it’s helped me recognize how I need to hold myself accountable for my own personal growth. Thank you so much Sofia for your insight and encouragement to this amazing community!

Again, Sofia’s Instagram handle is below for you to continue to connect with her!

Instagram |  The Sofia Garcia

What was your biggest takeaway

from Sofia’s post?

Let me know in the comments below!

Real quick, before you go..

Sarah Mozingo and son smiling

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